Friday, December 02, 2011

It's Official...

...the Republican Party is dead.

Donald Trump is moderating a Republican debate in Iowa on December 27. The twice-bankrupt real estate developer, birther, and reality television star with the docile badger on his head will moderate "The Newsmax Ion Television 2012 Presidential Debate," which I'm sure was deliberately misnamed to sound far more important than history will prove it to be (it is, to be accurate, a Republican Presidential primary debate).

Pity the poor Republican. This primary season has already had the atmosphere of a circus; in lieu of ideas or palatable policies, candidates have tried to "come off" as various things, to project various images. There's Newt the intellectual (!), Newt the historian (!), Michelle the historian (!!), Rick P. the tough-talkin' Texan, Rick the only-real-Republican, Ron the hard-headed realist, and most entertaining of all, Herman the Herminator. (Just how many clowns can you fit in that little car?) The most memorable catch-phrases of the primary season thus far have included:

  • Apples and Oranges (Cain)

  • Nein, nein, nein!!! (Cain)

  • Now, I don't have the facts to back this up... (Cain)

  • Ummmm...ummm...uh... (Perry)

  • Obama put us in Lybia. Now he's going to put us in Africa. (Bachmann)

  • Let him die! (Paul)

  • Hey, remember me? (Santorum)

  • Why am I even here? (Huntsman)

Perhaps after December 27, we'll have one more phrase to remember, courtesy of the Donald: You're Fired!!!

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